A "Dear John" Letter - so to speak

06/28/2004
11:33 a.m.

Did you ever look at something you used to love and just go "uggghh"? You get that blech feeling every time you see it so you decide just to not look at it anymore?

That's what I've been getting lately when I look at this site. It's not that--- oh wait.

Website, why are you crying? I loved you at one point, baby, I really did. We've had some great times, but the magic has gone. You've put on some weight, you've quit taking care of yourself, you never wear makeup anymore. I just don't know what to think.

I mean, I wanted us to work out, I really did. I just feel like you don't appreciate yourself, so why should I?

Oh, honey, now don't cry. I just really feel that we should make a clean break before someone really gets hurt. No, this wasn't just a game for me. I thought this was something special, too. I really just---

Hey, what's that? You've decided to have some work done? You're going to appear on Extreme Makeover? You mean, you're getting a whole new layout?

Well, hell! Why didn't you say so in the first place? Why don't you go and do your little freshening-up deal, and give me a call when the swelling goes down. I'm sure we can probably work something out.

Oh, and babe? While you're down there, maybe you could put in a good word for me? I got some bulge around the belly I'm just dying to get rid of.

See you soon, Sugar Pie.

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� Lysistrata 2003-2004


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