What Does A Parrot and Odai Hussein Have in Common?
07/25/2003
6:35 p.m.
There are some days when my job makes me just a little bit queasy. As I'm sure most of you have heard, Saddam's naughty little sons have been killed. Well, maybe you don't believe that, and, if that's the case, then the government has produced some pics of the bodies to whet your appetite. Now, we've all been warned how graphic these pictures are, and no one is being forced to look at them - unless you're a news graphic artist. I have to look at the bloated, bruised, and quite bloody faces of these two boys for a considerable amount of time so I can put them on full screens that will be aired on the news. We even tell people when to look away and when it's safe to look back, but do you think I have that priviledge? Ohhhhh, no. It's a simple reminder that my job is not always wine and roses. Oh wait! It's never wine and roses! What was I thinking? And speaking of jobs being all wine and roses, I bet the President is having a ball with this latest excursion. He was probably really starting to sweat with all the questions about the mysteriously missing WMD. Now, he's got something to sidetrack everybody with. I keep waiting for him to starting quoting Monty Python: "He's not pinin'! He's passed on! This Iraqi is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! H's kicked the bucket, He's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! He's f**kin' snuffed it!..... THIS IS AN EX-IRAQI!" All of this would be followed with the Prez banging Odai's stiff and bloody arm against the desk for added effect. This really just gives me a bad feeling. I wonder, if 'ol Georgie thought it would do any good, would he put their heads on stakes and take them on an American and Iraqi tour? Ooh, you could get t-shirts made. I saw the dead and bloody heads of Saddam Hussein's son and all I got was this stupid t-shirt! And who wants to bet that these boys become the most sought-after Halloween costumes this year? The commercialization of this is just massive! Somebody better jump on this real quick. BTW, does this mean that public executions might become fashionable again? I really don't think I have shoes for that type of social engagement.
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