Just one hit of AOL. It won't kill you.
04/27/2003
9:10 p.m.
Okay, I’m a pussy. I’m weak. I have no willpower whatsoever. I kept swearing to myself that I didn’t need Internet access at home. It’s free at work, so why shell out the dough? My money should be spent on important stuff – like foamy goodness at the Local Tasty Beverage Establishment. But then this pretty, shiny, little square tin showed up in my mailbox. The words on the front were so persuading: “Free! All-New! Now! No Credit Card Required!” The colors so tantalizing. The shape so fluid. I resisted at first. I held fast and strong. I would not succumb! But little by little, I weakened. I was sitting in my living room, watching absolutely nothing on TV when I heard the tiny box softly calling my name. Tin Box: Lys…is…trata…Lysistrata: What do you want? Tin Box: You know you want to open me….. Lysistrata: No I don’t. You’re evil. Tin box: Come on. The Internet is fun. I’m free, you know. Lysistrata: You’re still evil. Tin Box: Don’t be like that. Everybody’s doin’ it. What’s the harm? Lysistrata: I….can’t. Tin Box: Don’t be afraid. I’ll be gentle. It won’t hurt. Lysistrata: I am getting bored. Tin Box: I can fix that. I can fix all of your problems. Lysistrata: Well….maybe I’ll log on for just a little while…. The rest is just too disturbing to repeat. So I signed up for one of those free trials. Unlimited hours for two free months. It’s dial-up, but I’m not on the phone that much for it to make a difference. Now I’ll be able to put a weekend update on here. Aren’t you little Lysistrata Journal readers lucky? All two of you. I think the hard part will be giving it up after two months of online fun. I always knew the people at AOL were drug dealers.
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