Just one hit of AOL. It won't kill you.

04/27/2003
9:10 p.m.

Okay, I�m a pussy. I�m weak. I have no willpower whatsoever.

I kept swearing to myself that I didn�t need Internet access at home. It�s free at work, so why shell out the dough? My money should be spent on important stuff � like foamy goodness at the Local Tasty Beverage Establishment.

But then this pretty, shiny, little square tin showed up in my mailbox. The words on the front were so persuading: �Free! All-New! Now! No Credit Card Required!� The colors so tantalizing. The shape so fluid. I resisted at first. I held fast and strong. I would not succumb!

But little by little, I weakened. I was sitting in my living room, watching absolutely nothing on TV when I heard the tiny box softly calling my name.

Tin Box: Lys�is�trata�

Lysistrata: What do you want?

Tin Box: You know you want to open me�..

Lysistrata: No I don�t. You�re evil.

Tin box: Come on. The Internet is fun. I�m free, you know.

Lysistrata: You�re still evil.

Tin Box: Don�t be like that. Everybody�s doin� it. What�s the harm?

Lysistrata: I�.can�t.

Tin Box: Don�t be afraid. I�ll be gentle. It won�t hurt.

Lysistrata: I am getting bored.

Tin Box: I can fix that. I can fix all of your problems.

Lysistrata: Well�.maybe I�ll log on for just a little while�.

The rest is just too disturbing to repeat.

So I signed up for one of those free trials. Unlimited hours for two free months. It�s dial-up, but I�m not on the phone that much for it to make a difference.

Now I�ll be able to put a weekend update on here. Aren�t you little Lysistrata Journal readers lucky? All two of you.

I think the hard part will be giving it up after two months of online fun.

I always knew the people at AOL were drug dealers.



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� Lysistrata 2003-2004


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