Morning Lys,I have a book of daily readings that I keep in my desk at work. I've had it since that terrible period in our past (1995) and will occasionally glance at the day's entry if I'm looking for some sort of 'inspiration.' The entry for today, May 30, seemed so relevant to what you're facing that I wanted to share it with you. The book is geared toward recovery-type issues and brings in twelve-step topics which include God-oriented guidance. However, I think the readings could be beneficial to most readers--not just those in some sort of recovery.
Anyway, I've saved the entry for May 30 to a text file for you. Read it if you have time.
Commitment May 30
As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.
We must commit, on deep levels, to careers -- to goals -- to family, friends, recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will.
Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.
Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear.
Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of commitment. Ask God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance.
Ask yourself if you are willing to lose what you will not commit to. Then listen, quietly. And wait until a decision seems consistently right and comfortable.
We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready.
Trust that you will commit when you want to.
"God, guide me in making commitments. Give me the courage to make those that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not feel right, and the patience to wait until I know."
(Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go. Hazelden Meditation Series. p.149-150. June 1990.)
