I've Got Plenty of Candy Left....No Really, I've Got Plenty
11/03/2003
5:13 p.m.
Son. Of. A. Bitch. I was so excited about Halloween this year. I've never really decorated or worried about candy before because A)I've been performing in plays on this Hallowed of nights and B)I didn't exactly live in a kid-friendly neighborhood. More like drunken frat boys dressed up like playboy bunnies or that dude from Scream. So this year, now that I've moved into the suburbs, I was pretty jazzed. I bought all kinds of candy, carved some wicked-ass pumpkins, and one of the last things my sister did before jumping ship was decorated my house real spooky-like. I had my cheap CDs of cheesy Halloween music, my red glittery witch's hat, and I was ready to go. So I sit down in my new comfy front porch chair and wait. I eat a piece of candy. And wait. I adjust my hat to keep it from falling off. And wait. I change CDs after the first one's ended. And wait. Do ya wanna know how many fuckin' trick-or-treaters I got?! Three. And one was my nephew. Son. Of. A. Bitch. The other two didn't even look like they were wearing costumes. One of them said he was some character from a video game. It's gotta be the first time I felt really out of touch with today's kids. He probably walked away thinkin' I was some lame old chick with too many cats. Dude, I'm only 26, for pete's sake. And don't suggest that maybe I got home too late. There were still plenty of kids out. Cars kept on whizzing right past my street. I even contemplated going to the end of my street and waving a sign that said "Plenty of Candy Left Here!" It was very depressing. So, I gathered up my CD Player, pack of cigarettes and bowl of candy, and instead of going to some kick-ass Halloween shindig downtown, I ended up falling asleep around 10:30pm. I have got to get a life. Anyone got one I could borrow? BTW, here's my Thanksgiving Theme for ya.
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� Lysistrata 2003-2004
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